Bride Guide #10 from SLC Utah wedding photographer  Lauren Kay Photography.

 

This is your groom’s wedding day too! Pretty obvious, I know. But believe it or not, guys actually do have hopes and dreams about their wedding. Contrary to the “it’s all about the bride” belief, guys care too. If you want to start a good marriage together, it starts with being selfless and focused on him right now.

 

So, before you start any planning, or right now if you already have, I want you to sit down and talk to your groom. Ask him about his dream wedding day and just listen. And you might have to dig. From the day they’re born, guys are trained to think they can’t have an opinion because they hear that they just need to do what the bride wants. Let him know you really value his opinion, and that you want to hear it. He will trust you and open up if you continually, genuinely show you care.

 

Questions to ask your groom:

• Describe your dream wedding day.
• If you had an unlimited budget, what would it look like? (This helps you get down to the type of wedding he’s envisioning) 
• What matters most to you in your life? In a wedding?
• What do you definitely not want in a wedding?
• If we could only afford 3 things for our wedding, what would we spend it on (ex. Dress, photography, honeymoon, food, etc.) 
• What have you always wanted to do at your wedding?

 

 

Now, some of his ideas really might not be the best. Remember the hot pink and mint? Or the lace dress? You are probably more of the wedding planning expert and know what is in style and what will look and be best. So, I’m not saying to just do everything he says he wants, but I am saying to include him. If you ask his opinion then explain, explain, and explain some more. He’s not a woman. He probably doesn’t know there are a hundred different shades of pink. Explain in detail what you mean until he’s catching the vision too. Remember that he may not have as long of an attention span as you do when it comes to wedding planning. Be understanding of that. But invite him to consultations, choose to include him, and respect his opinions. 

 

Think of both of you. When you pick a venue, or decide who will be invited, or plan out the details, remember that he’s a part of this too! Ask him what he wants and try to do things that will be most meaningful for both of you.

 

If it’s not a big deal to you then compromise! If you don’t strongly care about smashing the cake in each other’s faces but it’s his deepest wish, then do it. 

 

Communication Tip…

When you’re trying to understand how much something matters to each of you, rate how much you care about it on a scale of 1 to 10. For example, “I want to dance at our wedding at a 9” would mean he really wants to.

 

Try to think of ways you can make your sweetheart feel validated, loved,  important, spoiled, and special. There are a lot of ways you can make his opinions matter without it infringing on your dreams. 

 

Overall, make your wedding about both of you. A day you can look back on and love and cherish together.

 

 

Real Brides have…

• Included one of their groom’s favorite colors in the color scheme
• Included feathers in all the bouquets because her groom loved duck hunting and they still looked so classy.
• Secretly hired an instructor to teach her a luau dance that she performed for her Hawaiian groom at their celebration.

 

Other ways to include and spoil your groom:

• Let him have some areas where he’s the boss – like the honeymoon, or finding a place to live.
• Let him have a say in what he wears, and make sure he’s decked out with fun details like cuff links and fun socks.
• Make sure his friends throw him a bachelor party.
• Ask his family to throw him a groom shower during one of your bridal showers where all his guy friends and family get together and gift him with things he’d enjoy like tools.

 

 

Ask yourself these questions:

• What ways could I incorporate things my groom loves into our day? (Think about his favorites.)
• What would be really meaningful to my groom?
  • Place:
  • People:
  • Details:
• Things I Could Do For Him:
• How I’m going to make my groom feel special and spoiled: