July 6, 2020
Bride Guide #64 is 6 tips on Married Life by Cache Valley Utah Wedding Photographer Lauren Kay Photography.
I love being married. Sometimes it’s really hard, but at the end of the day? I love it.
There are few, maybe even no, problems that honest communication from both sides
cannot fix. I used to bottle my emotions really bad. I didn’t speak up much and I would hint-
drop a lot too. Once I started openly communicating with my husband, I was so much
happier. And guess what? He was too! Open, honest communication can be hard, but it is
the key to a successful marriage.
You may look back someday and realize that your marriage started off so rough. Or that
your dating was so rocky. Or maybe you had a childhood that was incredibly traumatic and
feel like you’ll never be on top. And like it’s too late. That it will never be good. One of the
greatest things I’ve learned is that it is never too late. You can have the marriage of your
dreams now. You can become the person you want to be now. It may take a lot of work and
a lot of therapy, but it is never too late to change and make your life and marriage what you
want it to be.
If you haven’t heard of it already, https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ by Gary Chapman is definitely a
must-read. And I recommend reading it and doing the quizzes together. You and your
spouse feel loved in different ways. Really! It’s true. And the sooner you find out what each
other’s love language is and strive to learn to speak it, the happier and more fulfilled you
both will be.
Part of being married is changing and improving. It’s constantly striving to be a better
person and a better spouse. We are all trying. I have yet to meet someone who is a perfect
spouse. Remember this, when you’re spouse is trying to improve and love you better, they
get credit for trying. Even if the result isn’t the best, remember that they are trying! Remind
them with love when they forget. Don’t expect them to be perfect! Communicate what your
needs are, lovingly remind them when needed, and give them credit for trying.
There are two buckets in life. Just two. One is things you have control over and one is things
you don’t. You do not have control over other people’s reactions or how things go at work
or a million other things, including your spouse. You have control over you. That’s it. Over
how you react and what you choose to do. You may spend all afternoon cleaning the house
and making the most amazing meal for your spouse and they come home from work so
bugged that they hardly notice. Their reaction is not in your bucket. It is not something you
need to change or try to fix. Stay in your bucket. Love them. Focus your energy on your
reactions and choices, and stop stressing about the things you can’t control.
Something I wish I would’ve known is that marriage gets better. The first few months. The
first few years? They are super tough. It’s normal to struggle! Just because you are both
really struggling doesn’t mean that’s the end. Commit to each other and remember that as
you work at it, it will get better. You’ll still have moments, but overall, marriage is
something that grows more beautiful and sweet as time goes on.
Marriage is such an amazing adventure, ladies. It is a journey. Some days it really sucks. But overall, I
would never, NEVER want to go back. The fact that I love being married at the end of the day shows that
it is worth it, even when it’s excruciatingly difficult. You are two rough rocks rolling around in a washer.
You bang against each other and it hurts. Real good. But once the cycle is done, all the rough edges have
been chipped away and you are both perfectly smooth. In order for you to grow together, it will be hard.
It will hurt really bad sometimes. But you will both become so much better for it and your love will be
deeper than you can even imagine.
Have fun. Keep dating and getting to know each other. Work at it every day. And stick with it.
These pictures were taking by me! You can click here to book: https://laurenkayphoto.com/contact