May 18, 2020
Bride Guide #33 gives you 4 tips on all things “The Wedding Party” by Temple Wedding Photographer Lauren Kay Photography
How do you narrow it down? Right? There are probably lots of amazing women you want to include in your wedding party, and the same goes for guys for your groom. Maybe so many that you just want to bag it and just have family. But this is such a priceless opportunity. Your bridesmaids aren’t for you. It’s for them. It’s a chance for you to show your appreciation and thank them for the big role they’ve played in your life. Maybe it’s your sisters, girlfriends, a cousin, or even an aunt or role model. Having been asked to be a bridesmaid in the past, I can tell you it is such an honor. Here are 4 things to remember when choosing your wedding party:
Your wedding party can be more than just family! And in my opinion, it should be. Ask your closest girlfriends and those who have really made a difference in your life, and let your groom do the same. If you don’t necessarily want siblings in your wedding party but are worried about offending them, you can include still include them. Buy them a special outfit or accessory that coordinates but isn’t a bridesmaid dress and let them know how grateful you are for them in your life. This isn’t a time to cater to anyone’s expectations. Just like your guest list, each bridesmaid and groomsmen should be carefully chosen and never chosen out of obligation.
The budget is not the limiting factor, remember? Even if you feel like you can’t afford to buy all the girls a bridesmaid dress, ask them anyway! You can find inexpensive outfits, write them a check to cover a portion of an outfit they choose, or you can even ask them to buy their own outfit or wear something they already have that coordinates. Don’t be cheap. But if it’s genuinely not in your budget, these ladies will just be so honored you asked them to be your bridesmaids. For them, it’s not about the outfit.
Even though it’s nice for the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen to match, it is not a necessity! You don’t have to limit the number of ladies you choose or choose more than you want. I’ve seen people with one or two bridesmaids and people with more than ten. For both you and your groom, just choose who you really want to thank and honor and don’t worry about the number.
Take the time and effort to ask your bridesmaids sweetly. I realize this one may not translate for the groomsmen as much, but for the bridesmaids it’s important. Take the time to write a card, buy a little gift, go out to dinner, or call them on the phone. You are honoring them and thanking them for being such an important person in your life, and it starts by the way you ask.
What about the Maid of Honor and Best Man? As a Temple Wedding Photographer I’ve seen couples who select their closest friend or sibling to be the maid of honor and best man and couples who just do bridesmaids and groomsmen. It’s up to you. You’ll also need to remember to coordinate outfits for siblings, nieces and nephews, mothers, fathers, and a flower girl and ring bearer, if you have them.
Just remember, more than anything, this is a great time to honor those who have done so much for you and who hold a special place in your heart. It’s also a great time to outsource! Be specific about what you want and then delegate! Put a bridesmaid in charge of finding all the bridesmaid dresses or let each bridesmaid pick out her own. Let your mothers pick out their dresses. Have a sister or friend choose all the ties. Delegating here allows you to relax and focus more on other things.
Here are some ideas of ways you can ask your Bridesmaids sweetly: https://www.etsy.com/discover/bridesmaid-proposal-ideas
My favorite places…
Check out https://laurenkayphoto.com/vendors to see my favorite places to shop for bridesmaid dresses,
ties, and accessories. As a Temple wedding photographer I’ve seen lots of different shops for all wedding needs.
● Have them all in the same dress, let them pick out their own that fits them best, or get them
similar dresses that are different shades or styles.
● Remember their shoes! Even if you don’t buy shoes for them, ask them to wear shoes that are a
similar color and style.
● You can have their dresses be different styles or shades or fabrics, but keep them all roughly the
same length for a consistent look.
● They can have suits or tuxedos, or just be in a white shirt with slacks. If they are just wearing a
dress shirt, make sure it fits well.
● Their slacks should be the same or similar color.
● Remember to ask them to wear the same color and style of shoes, and belts or suspenders.
● I’ve seen guys in bowties with white shirts with black buttons. It was so unique and classy. Don’t
be afraid to branch out.
● Remember to have them take things out of their pockets.
● Get them matching necklaces or bracelets to wear on the big day
● Get them a little gift like a treat or bath bomb
● Write them a card
● Send them a Brightbox
● Take them all out to dinner together
I know your groom may just want to call or ask his groomsmen in person, but if he wants to do
something special he could get them all matching socks or tie clips to wear on the big day.
Be very clear about your expectations. If you are letting bridesmaids and mothers choose their dresses,
be specific about what style and color you want it to be. And ask them to show you it prior to the
wedding. I know brides who hated the dress their bridesmaid showed up in. Make sure you know what
they will be wearing beforehand.